After a conversation with a good friend, I have come to think about this off and on all day. Spiritual warfare. How is it different in Canada than it is in other parts of the world? I have been to places where the spiritual world is more visible to the human eye. Where the forces of darkness and light fight in such an obvious way that you can’t deny it. Why is it not like that here in Canada I was wondering. But you see, it’s not as visible here… unless you are looking for it. It got me really starting to analyze what kind of spiritual war is going on here. There is such a battle here. A battle for souls, just like every other country. The enemy has Canada right where he wants it. The rich getting richer, the poor getting neglected, the idols we have made consume us; material things exhaled above the Creator. Sin becoming so apart of our lives that it has become normal or the thing to do. We are so spiritually deaf. But… but. But Jesus is breaking our ears open. He is smashing those idols to pieces. He is reigning over the rich and the poor. He is King here. And He is King there. He has the enemy in his grip and he will be defeated. I can’t keep living thinking that this is not a war. Why would I not prepare myself? I need to stop goofing around. I need to put on the armour of God. I need his Word to guide me, I need his love to correct me, I need his spirit to teach me, I need his grace to encourage me, I need his fear to keep me on track. If this is a war… it’s going to be messy… but I know in the end who is going to be victorious. King Jesus.
7/24/11
7/17/11
Fellowship of the Unashamed
"I am a part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed." The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.
I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear.
I won't give up, back up , let up or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up and paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ.
I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear. For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ."
I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.
I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear.
I won't give up, back up , let up or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up and paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ.
I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear. For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ."
Call me out of mediocrity.
I've been thinking about this for the past few days. I've been thinking about the cross. It's not a small thing. I can't look over it anymore.
I have this image in my head. Every time I sin, I'm the one hammering the nails into Jesus' hands. I love him so much and yet I continue to everyday drive the nails into that cross. I just see myself crying, weeping as I am the one who put those holes in his hands. I'm the one who made him bleed. Jesus forgive me. It was my sin that held you there. It should have been me on that cross. I am just so humbled thinking about this. I don't want to sin because I love Him so much and I just can't handle it anymore. Its no longer about a set of rules I have to follow, its turned into a deep intimacy that compels me to never want to hurt my King again. Because I love Him so. So much. and yet, nothing compared to how He loves me.
Sin is when we substitute God for us. But Salvation is when Jesus substituted us for Him.
I have this image in my head. Every time I sin, I'm the one hammering the nails into Jesus' hands. I love him so much and yet I continue to everyday drive the nails into that cross. I just see myself crying, weeping as I am the one who put those holes in his hands. I'm the one who made him bleed. Jesus forgive me. It was my sin that held you there. It should have been me on that cross. I am just so humbled thinking about this. I don't want to sin because I love Him so much and I just can't handle it anymore. Its no longer about a set of rules I have to follow, its turned into a deep intimacy that compels me to never want to hurt my King again. Because I love Him so. So much. and yet, nothing compared to how He loves me.
Sin is when we substitute God for us. But Salvation is when Jesus substituted us for Him.
Awe
"The earth is the Lord's and everything in it" Psalm 24:1
"The earth is filled with the Lord's glory." Habakkuk 2:14
"Shout joyfully to God...How awesome are your works." Psalm 66:1,3
Erasing Hell
So I just wanted to share a super good quote with you all from Francis Chan's book Erasing Hell. This book has been a great read and I highly recommend it. Its been opening my eyes and getting me to really think about eternity. I don't really want to go too much into the theology of the book... just read it for yourselves and find what you believe.
"We are bound by the words of the Creator, the One who will do what is right. The One who invented justice and knows perfectly what the unbeliever deserves. God has never asked us to figure out His justice or to see if His way of doing things is morally right. He has only asked us to embrace His Word and bow the knee, to tremble at His word."
No matter what you believe about hell, you have to believe that God is God. This is truth. And no matter what God always will have the final say and who are we to say otherwise?
"We are bound by the words of the Creator, the One who will do what is right. The One who invented justice and knows perfectly what the unbeliever deserves. God has never asked us to figure out His justice or to see if His way of doing things is morally right. He has only asked us to embrace His Word and bow the knee, to tremble at His word."
No matter what you believe about hell, you have to believe that God is God. This is truth. And no matter what God always will have the final say and who are we to say otherwise?
7/15/11
Deathbed
The tears they soaked your fur
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said, "What have I done?"
You loved that lamb
With every sinful bone
You said, "Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day please take me home with you
I can hear You whisper to me,
"It's time to leave
You'll never be lonely again"
I am the Way
Follow Me
And take My hand
And I am the Truth
Embrace Me and you'll understand
And I am the Life
And for Me you'll live again
For I am Love
I am Love
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said, "What have I done?"
You loved that lamb
With every sinful bone
You said, "Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day please take me home with you
I can hear You whisper to me,
"It's time to leave
You'll never be lonely again"
I am the Way
Follow Me
And take My hand
And I am the Truth
Embrace Me and you'll understand
And I am the Life
And for Me you'll live again
For I am Love
I am Love
7/11/11
Justice
Grace is a beautiful thing. Grace is a God thing. Grace gives you everything when you don't deserve it. Grace is the cross, and I love grace. I live because of it. But. But have we graced over too much? Have we over-graced? To the point that judgment no longer applies? To the point where sin is okay because there is grace? To the point where the King is no longer the King high in sovereignty? The answer is, I don't know. This is a question we all need to ask our own hearts. I believe there is a needed balance. Some say well grace isn't fair, You are right, Grace isn't fair and that's the beauty of it, but we can not completely write off justice. Why would God place in me this heart for justice? I yearn for justice. Ever since I was little, I wanted things to be set right. When my brother was being unjust to me, I wanted it to stop. and now that I'm older I still feel a sense in my heart that the world needs justice. Justice for the poor, the broken, the lost. Things that grab my heart are the justice issues of today's world. The sex trade industry, the marginalized of down town Calgary, those people who need Jesus. I ask again, why would God place in me a heart for justice? I believe in Grace. But I also believe in justice.
I need to know truth. I just want to say that it's not about being right or being wrong; its about truth. All I want to see is the truth, whether I like the truth or not... it does not change the fact that it's true. Dear Abba, Show me the truth.
I need to know truth. I just want to say that it's not about being right or being wrong; its about truth. All I want to see is the truth, whether I like the truth or not... it does not change the fact that it's true. Dear Abba, Show me the truth.
Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth...
So I started this new book yesterday, It's called "Erasing Hell" By Francis Chan and Preston Sprinkle. It's pretty much a response to other theologies and books like Rob Bell's "Love Wins" and a study of what the scriptures say. Now, I haven't read Love Wins, but I'm going to after I'm done Erasing Hell. Erasing Hell brings up the weighty questions of the place we call hell. Does everyone go to Heaven? What does the bible say about hell? Some theologies have stated that in the end, how could a loving God send people to hell? Some believe that after all is said and done there will still be a chance for those who are in hell to make it into heaven, into those 'gates that never close'. I'm not that far into the book, but I will be sure to update you on how it goes and how I feel about it... because well this is my blog and I write about things like that. But reading it so far, I have been thinking about hell today and the intensity of it. It's a very sobering thought. Hell. It actually made me think about how much our actions really do affect eternity. Is it true that what we do here on earth will be reflected in eternity? As of now, I believe yes of course they do. What do you believe? What does the bible say? Let's find out.
7/9/11
Sunnyside
I just got home this afternoon from a week away at camp in Sylvan lake. So much happened that I still need to process it and I believe the best way for me to process this... is to write about it! So here we go.
It was absolutely amazing to be honest and I don't even really know where to start. I didn't want to go to camp, but I really felt God leading me to go... So I did, and I'm super glad I decided to go. I was supposed to be there, no doubt about it. At first I felt super attacked about it. Like, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there, like I wasn't making any change in my camper's lives, like I had no influence... basically a bunch of lies about how much I sucked! But after a while of feeling like this, I had enough. I went to my wonderful and amazing youth pastor for prayer. He was also counseling this week! He just prayed with me and instantly the lies just went away. A huge part of this week for me was realizing the power of prayer. It really is something and I can say with 100 percent certainty that prayer changes things. Just a side note, I wanted to say that I really, really love my youth pastor. Seriously, like I can't imagine what I would do with out him and his wife. I think one of my most favorite parts of this week was when he came up to me after a service and told me how proud he was of me. I just couldn't stop crying. I value his opinion so much and I just felt so loved. :) Thanks, Ramon.
This week was just so refreshing. I feel so refreshed. I feel like I was just reminded of my calling and my purpose. God spoke to me regarding so many different things in my life. He reminded me that he gave me a gentle spirit and that it's not a bad thing, that I shouldn't constantly try to be like everyone else, but that he created me just the way He meant to. God doesn't make mistakes. He reminded me that gentleness is a fruit of the spirit and it is not the opposite of boldness. I can live in the gentleness he created in me and yet still be bold for him. I really like that. I found freedom from a lot of faulty thinking this week. I used to believe that I could only get so far with my relationship with God. That there was this glass sort of ceiling stopping me from getting to where I want to be. It was like I could see other people's relationships with God and how I wanted to have that intimacy with him but for some reason I felt like I just couldn't get there, like I wasn't meant to get there. That this was as good as it could get and would ever get, that I could never become closer with him. I was being held back. In my mind I could just see God smashing that glass ceiling into millions of pieces. Shattering those stupid lies that I've been telling myself. I can go deeper in intimacy with him. I can have that every single day of my life. I am not being held back anymore. Things were not meant to be that way! My mind set has just been renewed. I just feel like God is fine tuning my relationship with him. God is correcting me on the little things I need correction on. (But I'm sure I need correction on a lot of things). I got the image of a ship. If the ship is off by even one degree, It's going to end up in a completely different place. Every little thing counts because the degree seems small near the start but in the end it grows and grows. Does that make sense... who cares, it makes sense to me. haha.
God also reminded me just how he has worked in my life. That he has answered prayers and I've just over looked them. Last year I struggled with joy. I walked through depression and just felt so unhappy, so lacking in joy. So I constantly prayed for God to give me the joy to walk through darkness. That even when everything around me was going wrong, I would still be able to have that joy that just 'jumps over sadness'. He answered that prayer, I haven't felt depressed in so long. I feel great. I feel so much joy in my heart. Even when I'm going through bad things, tough situations, I still feel joy deep down. It's more than a superficial happiness, but it's a deep, deep joy inside my heart because I know that God is always with me and He will never leave me or forsake me.
Another thing He told me was that I should continue to write. Writing helps me to better understand what God is saying to me. Sometimes I write and I end up writing things that I didn't even know I was feeling and God just speaks to me through it. Writing is also a great way to remember what God has done in my life, to go back and re read it and remember. It keeps the testimony alive for me. I'm going to start writing a lot more. Even in my own personal journal, I'm going to start writing more things down and I believe God will bless it.
There were so many scriptures that just touched my heart this week. So many quotes from the speakers that just clicked in my head. So many things! Too much to write about, but one of the things that sticked was when pastor Landon talked about Mana from Heaven one morning in our leaders meeting. Each day God will give you fresh Mana, Use it all, Don't save any for the next day because it will not be of any benefit to you or anyone and will just go fowl, go to bed dead exhausted but trusting that God will provide new Mana in the morning, new strength. Don't look to rest as rest. But look to God as rest. This is a kingdom principle and it got me through the week.
Just being a leader was amazing. I fell in love with my girls and they just totally blessed me in so many ways they probably didn't even realize. Follow me as I follow Christ. I'm going to continue in prayer for them.
Baptisms were amazing! I just can not sit through a baptism service and not cry my eyes out. I loved it. That was another one of my favorite parts of the week.
The holy spirit was just so at work this week. I felt so filled up. Fill me up so I can pour out. The fire tunnel was the BEST! Just praying for students and pouring out, and then getting filled right back up again. I have never felt the holy spirit like that before. So overwhelming. I loved it, and now I crave it even more.
I don't want camp to end. I want to bring camp back with me. Not camp, but the God I encountered there. He is not just the God of camp, but the God of everything. I'm tired of the old way of living, but I want to just encounter God every single day, I want to live a spirit filled, purpose driven, and repentance humbled life. I am so excited to see what God is going to do the rest of the summer and in the fall when I go back to school. I just feel a desire in my heart to win my campus over for Christ! It's a big job, but my God is bigger.
It's now almost one o clock in the morning, and my computer has 10 per cent battery left, but I still have so much more on my heart. I will be writing more about it later. And I'm sure that the seeds that have been planted in my life this week will grow and I will see the results in the days to come. God is never going to stop talking to me or teaching me or molding me. Just.... stay tuned.
Love in Christ,
Em
It was absolutely amazing to be honest and I don't even really know where to start. I didn't want to go to camp, but I really felt God leading me to go... So I did, and I'm super glad I decided to go. I was supposed to be there, no doubt about it. At first I felt super attacked about it. Like, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there, like I wasn't making any change in my camper's lives, like I had no influence... basically a bunch of lies about how much I sucked! But after a while of feeling like this, I had enough. I went to my wonderful and amazing youth pastor for prayer. He was also counseling this week! He just prayed with me and instantly the lies just went away. A huge part of this week for me was realizing the power of prayer. It really is something and I can say with 100 percent certainty that prayer changes things. Just a side note, I wanted to say that I really, really love my youth pastor. Seriously, like I can't imagine what I would do with out him and his wife. I think one of my most favorite parts of this week was when he came up to me after a service and told me how proud he was of me. I just couldn't stop crying. I value his opinion so much and I just felt so loved. :) Thanks, Ramon.
This week was just so refreshing. I feel so refreshed. I feel like I was just reminded of my calling and my purpose. God spoke to me regarding so many different things in my life. He reminded me that he gave me a gentle spirit and that it's not a bad thing, that I shouldn't constantly try to be like everyone else, but that he created me just the way He meant to. God doesn't make mistakes. He reminded me that gentleness is a fruit of the spirit and it is not the opposite of boldness. I can live in the gentleness he created in me and yet still be bold for him. I really like that. I found freedom from a lot of faulty thinking this week. I used to believe that I could only get so far with my relationship with God. That there was this glass sort of ceiling stopping me from getting to where I want to be. It was like I could see other people's relationships with God and how I wanted to have that intimacy with him but for some reason I felt like I just couldn't get there, like I wasn't meant to get there. That this was as good as it could get and would ever get, that I could never become closer with him. I was being held back. In my mind I could just see God smashing that glass ceiling into millions of pieces. Shattering those stupid lies that I've been telling myself. I can go deeper in intimacy with him. I can have that every single day of my life. I am not being held back anymore. Things were not meant to be that way! My mind set has just been renewed. I just feel like God is fine tuning my relationship with him. God is correcting me on the little things I need correction on. (But I'm sure I need correction on a lot of things). I got the image of a ship. If the ship is off by even one degree, It's going to end up in a completely different place. Every little thing counts because the degree seems small near the start but in the end it grows and grows. Does that make sense... who cares, it makes sense to me. haha.
God also reminded me just how he has worked in my life. That he has answered prayers and I've just over looked them. Last year I struggled with joy. I walked through depression and just felt so unhappy, so lacking in joy. So I constantly prayed for God to give me the joy to walk through darkness. That even when everything around me was going wrong, I would still be able to have that joy that just 'jumps over sadness'. He answered that prayer, I haven't felt depressed in so long. I feel great. I feel so much joy in my heart. Even when I'm going through bad things, tough situations, I still feel joy deep down. It's more than a superficial happiness, but it's a deep, deep joy inside my heart because I know that God is always with me and He will never leave me or forsake me.
Another thing He told me was that I should continue to write. Writing helps me to better understand what God is saying to me. Sometimes I write and I end up writing things that I didn't even know I was feeling and God just speaks to me through it. Writing is also a great way to remember what God has done in my life, to go back and re read it and remember. It keeps the testimony alive for me. I'm going to start writing a lot more. Even in my own personal journal, I'm going to start writing more things down and I believe God will bless it.
There were so many scriptures that just touched my heart this week. So many quotes from the speakers that just clicked in my head. So many things! Too much to write about, but one of the things that sticked was when pastor Landon talked about Mana from Heaven one morning in our leaders meeting. Each day God will give you fresh Mana, Use it all, Don't save any for the next day because it will not be of any benefit to you or anyone and will just go fowl, go to bed dead exhausted but trusting that God will provide new Mana in the morning, new strength. Don't look to rest as rest. But look to God as rest. This is a kingdom principle and it got me through the week.
Just being a leader was amazing. I fell in love with my girls and they just totally blessed me in so many ways they probably didn't even realize. Follow me as I follow Christ. I'm going to continue in prayer for them.
Baptisms were amazing! I just can not sit through a baptism service and not cry my eyes out. I loved it. That was another one of my favorite parts of the week.
The holy spirit was just so at work this week. I felt so filled up. Fill me up so I can pour out. The fire tunnel was the BEST! Just praying for students and pouring out, and then getting filled right back up again. I have never felt the holy spirit like that before. So overwhelming. I loved it, and now I crave it even more.
I don't want camp to end. I want to bring camp back with me. Not camp, but the God I encountered there. He is not just the God of camp, but the God of everything. I'm tired of the old way of living, but I want to just encounter God every single day, I want to live a spirit filled, purpose driven, and repentance humbled life. I am so excited to see what God is going to do the rest of the summer and in the fall when I go back to school. I just feel a desire in my heart to win my campus over for Christ! It's a big job, but my God is bigger.
It's now almost one o clock in the morning, and my computer has 10 per cent battery left, but I still have so much more on my heart. I will be writing more about it later. And I'm sure that the seeds that have been planted in my life this week will grow and I will see the results in the days to come. God is never going to stop talking to me or teaching me or molding me. Just.... stay tuned.
Love in Christ,
Em
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