Kim Phuc

Today at the university this lady came to speak; her name was
Kim Phuc. She was honestly the most amazing lady. She told us her story; She grew up in Vietnam in a big house with a nice backyard and garden, animals and everything they could want, living with her whole family in a nice neighbour hood. Untill the brutal effects of the Vietnam war hit them so hard. They were bombed with napalm. I learned today that napalm is an acid type poison that is generally mixed with gasoline and it burns at temperatures of up to 800 degrees. Kim came out with her skin boiling from underneith, clinging to life. She went through so much. A very famous picture was taken of her and passed around the globe. I have posted it here, She is the one in the middle. Despite all that she went through, with half of her family dying and her struggling with feelings of inadequacy because of the scars on her arms and body, the pain she deals with everyday physically, the extents of therapy she has to go through, she still remains a strong and beautiful woman. She found Christ in all this and she tells the story of how he saved her life. It really was a miracle that she is alive today and living in the safety of Canada. She told how she prayed her way through the entire thing. Her joy was just radiating from her, I want to have joy like that. Where I can go through crap and still be beaming with the love of the Father inside me. At one point in the session she even broke out in song. She sang us a beautiful song in vietnamese and it almost made me cry. It was so encouraging and inspiring to see that. She is really my hero today. It was awesome.

Living flame of love come baptize us.

Last night was just simply the best night I have had in a very long time. It was amazing... I just need to blog about it! It started off with Tehilla monday. We got to the church and when worship started I just knew this night was going to be different. I prayed with such a deep burning urgency that I've never prayed with before. It was from the bottom of my being, I was craving God. I needed him so bad. I needed him. I was pressing in like it was the last time. I was so sick and exausted of not feeling God's presence in my life. I told him, I know I don't have to feel you to worship you, because that's not what it's about. It's not about the feeling I get, I worship you because you are Truth, but I need your strength tonight. I prayed for the manafest presence of God. I prayed for a deep burning passion and hunger for him, a strength to be able to push forward. And it came to the point where I was almost kneeled over, physically in pain from how much I needed God. My whole self was looking for my Creator. Then they played beautiful exchange and I just lost it, I was filled with joy. It was so beautiful indeed. I started to just laugh and laugh and I couldn't stop.. I didn't want to. It was like God and I shared some insanely funny joke just between us. It was so much fun! I felt like a child being rewared. It felt like a gift I didn't deserve. I just soaked in the joy and peace and freedom he lavished on me. I was so  lost in bringing him praise and just being with Him I didn't think about anything besdies Him, No distractions. It was like my cup was being filled and over filled and it made me so happy. =) The sermon was soooo good too, He talked about the cross and what it has done for us. It was just such a good reminder. And at the end there was an alter call and I think it was 19 people gave thier lives to Christ! Like... what?! AWESOME! haha. Two of those people were my friends from the University, so I was estatic. And we just entered into some more worship at the end and I prayed with my girlfriend and just cried and there was so much unity and love and it was just so beautiful to see how God brings together his Children. He is sooo good to His children. But my night doesn't even end there... We went out for food and fellowship afterwards and it was awesome just to sit together and talk about what God has done in our lives and about spiritual gifts and the cool things we have been learning about Jesus, and in the middle of the Denny's restaurant we broke out into prayer. We prayed for healing over one of the guys who wasn't feeling good. It was sweet to see that not only does God move in the church... but in a Denny's too! haha so funny. After that four of us got in a car and drove to drop one off at home, but we didn't even make it that far. We had worship on in the car as we drove and we all just were singing at the top of our lungs and God's presence was in our car for sure. I sometimes wonder what God thinks when he sees us. Like this is what we were made for. It felt so right. But then we passed a very severe accident on the high way - a truck was wrapped around a street light... It was bad. We stopped and prayed together for the situation. I was loving how through out the night we could just break out in prayer right then and there... It was amazing. When we got to the fellows house we just sat in his drive way for almost an hour and a half, we just shared testimonies, prayed for one another some more, listened to some more worship and just spent time together talking about this year and how we feel revival coming and how God is just going to shake this city. It was such a sick night. I was so stoked the whole night. Really. At the end of the evening, me and my girlfriend got back to my house at around two thirty am! We sat in my bed and talked about life and how blessed we are to have friends like we have. Because we are so blessed. To have those friends who bring you closer to God, we all walk hand in hand. She just encouraged me so much. I really love her and all my friends. and I really love God. It was just a night that God just lavished His kids. He is so good. God is so good. I feel strengthened and encouraged and just ready to take on this next chapter of my life.

Cravings.

I'm currently sitting here, at the University (in the science A to be exact), watching people pass by just thinking; How many of these people know the creator of the sun and the stars? How many of these people are lost? How many are searching for something? Something bigger, greater than themselves. Earlier today I watched a documentary that a friend showed me, it was all about the secular world and the cravings that people have. Intrisic cravings for... something more. People in this place are broken and wandering. We have to reach them. But not in a condeming way, but out of love. A sinciere deep and real love for the lost. They need to meet you. They need you just as much as I do, and do I ever. Lord, pour out  your spirit on this campus. These are your children. It's going to rain. I feel so ambitious to say, We need to win this campus over for Christ. I'm sitting here listening to worship on my computer and I feel like I could get up and spin around and dance and lift my hands in worship. I feel your presence here, and it makes me want to cry thinking that the people around me don't. Seems like an overwhelming task at this point, but all things are possible through you who strengthens me. All things. Even this. Lord, I pray for devine appointments. Place me in people's lives who need light in darkness. Seat me in that class right next to someone who needs even a conversation or a smiple smile today. I want to be the light you have created me to be. This is my inspiration today; "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:15 Let this scripture ring true today. Give me boldness. Encourage me. Sometimes it gets so discouraging, thinking I am all alone in this. But just when I need it, God shows up. I sit down in Mac Hall with my lunch and it so happens that I sat beside two Christians - I could tell by the first time they opened thier mouths that they were. They were talking about this exact thing, encouraging one another in Christ. They don't even know how much I was encouraged simply by listening to them, feeling like I am not alone in my purpose. It was quite beautiful. Thanks Abba, You are not only the King of the church, but you are the King of this University. Freedom reigns in this place. Showers of mercy and grace, Falling on every face. There is freedom. Jesus reigns in this place. 

Staying Soft Hearted.

I feel like what I am about to share is a little more personal than usual, but I told you all at the beginning that it doesn’t matter who reads it or doesn’t read it. It’s a documentation of not only my time on the mountain but also my times of struggle in the valley. I know that God is always speaking to us but sometimes I just forget to listen. So I wasn’t expecting to hear from God and it caught me off guard. He said, Em you are starting to become hard hearted and bitter towards the church, we need to work on this together. And I realised that yes, I have been feeling bitter and turned off to the idea of the church for several reasons. Now that I am starting to get more involved in the workings of the church I see that it is not just happy go lucky all the time, I see a very different and dark side of ministry than what I used to believe existed. So often I take the burdens of other people on my shoulders and it is so, so hard for me not to. It’s an everyday struggle to know the line between empathy and sympathy. I also see much conflict within the church. I see conflict between churches, denominations and congregations and I don’t like it. Church is supposed to be where we come united to meet with God but I see conflict and it’s not lining up with my ideals about this thing we call church. I’ve seen people get hurt by other people, fighting over theology... I know there is nothing wrong with theology but lately I’ve been noticing how caught up people get in it and they seem to forget the main reason we are called Christians. Now, I have talked this over with my dad and he made me realize that yes the church is messed up sometimes, because it’s full of people... human people that are not perfect, but still even among all the mess it is a good thing. Meeting with other believers is a good thing... it is necessary. And I need to remind myself about the good it can bring instead of focusing on the bad. I need to remain soft hearted. God please help me to find the strength in you to fight bitterness and anger in my life. I would love some feedback on this one... So please feel free to comment. Be blessed.

Imaginative ramblings.

I'm standing in a field. A beautiful, big, bright feild of cream coloured weat that reaches up to my waist. As the weat is moved by the wind, it dances around me in rythm. The sun hits my face and I close my eyes and take in the scene. I take a deep breath and a sweet smell fills my nose and clean crisp air enters my lungs. This is such a refreshing place. It is abnormally quiet here, I notice the absence of noise. There are no cars honking or people talking or bells ringing... it is completly peaceful. I feel no need for anything, I am not striving nor worrying. I have never been here before but already I feel like I belong, like I've known this place my whole life in the back of my mind. I get lost in my thoughts about this strange place when I realise I'm not alone. Off a little while into the distance I see a man. There really is no way I can put words to discribe this man. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The beauty of the field seems to dull as I look at this figure straight ahead. Just at this moment I seemed to discover a new instinct that I had never known about before but I knew it was the right thing to do. I started to run. I sprinted as fast and as hard as I could, but I never grew weary. My eyes were set on Him and as long as I was looking at Him I could run forever. His arms were open wide and he was bending at the knee, just like a Father would when he greets his little children. I felt like a child, I'm sure I looked like a child too. I rushed into him and it was the best feeling. He enveloped me with a huge hug. It was the kind of hug that could stop tears, ease fears and fix broken hearts. We fell over into the weat, both laughing now like old friends. As we settled, I lay with my head against His chest simply satisfied in listening to his heart beat. I could stay in this moment forever. I lost track of time, It could have been minutes, days or years and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. But then I noticed one more thing, A little tiny bird pearched on my shoulder. I knew this bird too. Even though I had never seen it before I knew lots about it, It was my guide, full of wisdom and aide. It was a beautiful gift. It chirped and I noted how quiet its sound was. I thought about home and how loud it is back there. It made me think about how I needed to memorize the sound of its voice. I wanted to know its voice. I never wanted to be at the place where I couldn't hear it, or recognize it. I made a mental note of its pitch, volume and ring and I smiled. It pecked my hair with its beak and flew away. Instictively, I rose and chased it, laughing a deep and real laugh. It remained just above my reach as I jumped and tried to tag it. It was a fun game. If birds could smile, this bird was smiling. The Man started to laugh too. It felt like we were a family. I liked this place and I knew in my heart it was where I belonged.

2011

This year is going to be different. This year is going to be full of new things, learning, growing and changing. Over the past few months I have seen God's hand move not only in my own life, but in the lives of those around me more than I have ever seen before. It hasn't been easy, but it was well worth it. I am expecting Him to continue this work in the new year, I am expecting God to continue to move, mould and shape us into the people he wants us to be. This upcoming year will be a time of awakening and revival. Revival comes by two things, When the people of God take old concepts and again realize their truth. It is when we stop taking things for granted and re-discover the idea of the Cross. We need to re-discover his love and forgiveness. The second part is applying it to our lives. It is not simply enough to learn something and store it away to collect dust, but we have to bring these concepts into our everyday living! We need to own the love God has towards us, we need realise the authority we have being children of the living God, we need to forgive others just as the He forgave us because of the cross. We need to re-discover and apply. Re-discover and apply and repeat. This is how revival happens. It's not something mystical and mysterious but it is when we get off our butts and start acting like true Jesus followers not just a bunch of 'religious christians'. We are not simply religious, our God is different than all "others". The difference between our Jesus and all the other religious prophets is that they came and they died, they taught what they were to teach and they died. BUT our messiah is ALIVE. He is not dead but He is always teaching us. He is alive and that is why revival is possible in our lives, in our schools, in our workplaces, in our city... and yes even in our churches. Because this good news, THE good news is for everyone, it is the one and only truth. If you don't like that... I'm sorry but it's true. He is the way, the truth and the life. It is him alone. This year, when I speak to people I know are not believers I am not going to hide anything because the truth is not just "relative to each situation" It is the foundation of who I am and I will not change that fact. People are going to persecute you and harm you, but the Lord your God will never forsake you. Be strong fellow Christ lovers, because we are his Children and in all things he will work it for our good! We can see lives changed in 2011. We WILL see it. Let's pray-in the new year and stay strong. Let our hearts take courage in Him. Give up your small ambitions people! Give up your small dreams! Our God is bigger than that. Re-realise that truth... and apply it. Well... What are you waiting for? Go!