1/10/11

Staying Soft Hearted.


I feel like what I am about to share is a little more personal than usual, but I told you all at the beginning that it doesn’t matter who reads it or doesn’t read it. It’s a documentation of not only my time on the mountain but also my times of struggle in the valley. I know that God is always speaking to us but sometimes I just forget to listen. So I wasn’t expecting to hear from God and it caught me off guard. He said, Em you are starting to become hard hearted and bitter towards the church, we need to work on this together. And I realised that yes, I have been feeling bitter and turned off to the idea of the church for several reasons. Now that I am starting to get more involved in the workings of the church I see that it is not just happy go lucky all the time, I see a very different and dark side of ministry than what I used to believe existed. So often I take the burdens of other people on my shoulders and it is so, so hard for me not to. It’s an everyday struggle to know the line between empathy and sympathy. I also see much conflict within the church. I see conflict between churches, denominations and congregations and I don’t like it. Church is supposed to be where we come united to meet with God but I see conflict and it’s not lining up with my ideals about this thing we call church. I’ve seen people get hurt by other people, fighting over theology... I know there is nothing wrong with theology but lately I’ve been noticing how caught up people get in it and they seem to forget the main reason we are called Christians. Now, I have talked this over with my dad and he made me realize that yes the church is messed up sometimes, because it’s full of people... human people that are not perfect, but still even among all the mess it is a good thing. Meeting with other believers is a good thing... it is necessary. And I need to remind myself about the good it can bring instead of focusing on the bad. I need to remain soft hearted. God please help me to find the strength in you to fight bitterness and anger in my life. I would love some feedback on this one... So please feel free to comment. Be blessed.

2 comments:

  1. I totally agree with you about the whole conflict between denominations thing. i have seen this for myself, and it makes me sad, because so often we judge others based on what church they are from, or what denomination they are in. we have our stereotypes set in our mind, and automatically base our opinion of someone on them. Christians who are all supposed to be members of one body are judging other Christians, and it's not right. I think that we need diversity and different opinions in the church, because if we were all exactly the same there would be no room for growth or change. A lot of times people get so caught up in theology that it clouds their hearts from the true purpose and meaning of what they believe. It's important to know what you believe, but to remain open minded. i find that Christians try to defend their theology and prove others wrong by using the bible, and this seems so backwards to me. The Word is supposed to be a weapon against the enemy, not each other. I think that God cares more about our heart and how we live our life than the theology that we believe. It's hard when we see this kind of stuff in the church, but I think your dad is right in saying that you can't let it harder your heart and create bitterness in you. Wow that was a long comment!

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  2. Theology is essential to a Christian walk. It has the power to change, deliver and strengthen a believer when sought after with a soft and playable heart (since seeking theology is essentially seeking to know the character and see the face of God). The bible tells us to battle with theology and think hard about our faith. But you are also 100% correct! When issues of theology begin to divide instead of bring together, destroy instead of build up, hurt instead of heal or hold back instead of send out, someone's heart is no longer in the right place. Staying attached to the vine of the holy spirit and not the vine of knowlege is Huge.
    -Derek

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