My royal husband delights in my beauty.

There is someone who will never leave me. Someone who will never let me down. He will  never ever leave me broken. He heals and restores me. He makes me clean like snow. He makes me joyful and gives me peace, no matter what is going on around me. People come and go, but he is constant. So constant. I am messy and distracted, but he is collected and true.

``Listen to Me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people and your family far away. For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for He is your Lord...
The bride, a princess, looks glorious in her golden gown. In her beautiful robes, she is led to the king, accompanied by her bridesmaids. What a joyful and enthusiastic procession as they enter the king’s palace!``
Psalm 45

He thinks I`m beautiful. He loves me just the way I am. He knows me by name. He knows the number of hairs on my head, and he knows things about me that I don`t even know. He knows how I work, and what makes me happy. He knows my heart. And He is my bride. My love. He is all I really ever need. In him alone I put my hope.
I am finally understanding, or starting to understand, what hope means. Even though crap goes on around me, I know there is something more than just me and my situations, there is a greater strength than me alone.

Hello.

It's not about being certain, It's about trusting. God doesn't call us to be certain, He calls us to trust. That is all.

A Beautiful Exchange

You were near, Though I was distant. Disillusioned I was, lost and insecure. Still mercy fought for my attention. You were waiting at the door. Then I let you in. Trading your life for my offenses, for my redemption. You carried all the blame. Breaking the curse of our condition. Perfection took our place. When only love could make a way. You gave your life in a beautiful exchange. My burden erased. My life forgiven. There is nothing that could take this love away, and my only desire and sole ambition is to love you just the same. When only love could break these chains. You gave your life in a beautiful exchange. Holy are you God, Holy is your name. With everything I’ve got, my heart will sing how I love you.

Focus.

I need to keep the main thing, the main thing. Love him. Love the poor, the hurting, the lost and the broken. Tell them about how the cross has changed my life. I need to focus on his love and his forgiveness. I need to fear him for the King that he is. I want him. I need him. I have to have him. I can't argue over theology and petty things; knowlage is good but in the end, Its me and him. On that day when I stand before him, I want him to tell me I have ran the good race and fought the good fight. He must consume every single part of who I am. I need to tell people. I need to set aside my pride. I can't keep this a secret anymore...

The way you move me.

Oh God, I feel like screaming. And jumping. And spinning. And dancing. And crying. And laughing. There is no one like you. There has never been anyone like you. There will never be anyone like you. I want to stay here. Here in your presence. You have moved my heart. You have captured my heart. You are so beautiful. You are so beautiful. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You hold me in your arms. You hold my life. You hold my heart. Do you know the way you move me?? Im getting into you. You got to me, In a way words can't describe. You know who I am. You know my thoughts. You know my heart. Oh Father, I'm yours. I'm yours. Im letting go. Im leaving everything behind. I want you. I want you. I want to follow you. I need to follow you. You are the air that I breathe. You are every breath. Meet me here. Never leave me. Never leave me. I love you. You are my romance. I am your bride. I am forever yours. My soul cries. My soul screams out. I can't handle this much love. I can't take so much grace, and mercy, and forgiveness, and love. Your love is relentless. You don't relent. Oh father, Yahweh, Jehova, adonai, Jesus, Daddy, You are the one, The only. The only one in my life. You are the only one in the room. You are the only one I see. I need to see you. Im Desperate for you. Im nothing without you. Im worthess without you. You give me purpose. You give me life with your blood. I love your blood daddy. Oh daddy. Im your little girl. You call me. You call me princess.You call me daughter. Haha! You lift me up when I cant walk. You make me to fly. To soar. Look at me! dad! I can't stop crying. My heart can't stop searching for you. You are everything. Everything to me. All I need. All I want. Forever. Oh God. haha. oh. Dance with me. Dance with me. =) Do  you know the way you move me? How can I stand here with you? and not be moved by you? not be pushed to repentance. Oh Im so sorry. I am so so so sorry Father. I don't want anything but you. You are my king. My king. I bow to you father. We bow to you. You set me on fire. You are the light inside of me. You shine inside of me. I have you. You have me. We are in love. I am yours.
I LOVE YOU. sigh...

Correction.

God is really working on me and I can see the evidence of it. He introduced to me his love and mercy, and now he is taking me deeper. He is working on my character. Correcting me to be humble; to realise that I'm not always right, that I mess up everyday. I am learning to say "sorry". Forgiveness is what he calls us to. I am learning to lay down my pride and admit that I am in fact wrong. Its hard to do. Our human nature tells us otherwise. But God is slowly molding my heart after his. Even though its really difficult to love people you find hard to love, its what he calls us to do. I am probably so hard to love, but God manages to love me! Don't ask me why? or How? because I just don't know. What I do know is that he loves me, and I am called to love others. To love others in humility, without pride or arrogance. This is something I am working on currently and probably will work on for the rest of my life. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13 I'm definatly not saying I'm there yet, or that I've accomplished this; becaues this is just the beggining. :)