God's presence is not a theory.

"Patiently you let me unfold, just in time, you opened up my ribs and played your melody, when my brokenness was all I saw in front of me. You took my robes of shame, and covered me with praise. You never quit, you never let me go."

Sunday we heard a message about Courage and making decisions. Focused on the story of Joshua. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:9. We learned from the teaching that courage rests on 1) a clear assignment (courage cannot exist without a mission), 2) the assurance of God's presence - no where in the bible does God call someone or send someone out without assuring that he will be with them. God's presence is not a theory. 3) Courage takes a focused determination... by taking steps of faith, you build faith, by taking steps of courage, you build courage. Courage ignites courage. Never does it say it will be easy, there will be opposition, without opposition courage would never have an opportunity. Do you think the forces of darkness are going to sit back while you do God's will...? No. We are in warfare, and prayer is the war time walkie talkie, God is commander. Lastly, 4) courage is resourced by the word of God. Meditate on it, hide it in your heart. Today's scripture reading will be tomorrow's test. Prepare yourselves! We then don't only do what God says, but we become what God says. Success is defined as following, loving, reading the word.

Thinking about this recap of Sunday's message, I remember the preacher asked, "What are you meant to do?" "What is your calling?"... For me personally, I feel like I ask myself this question way too often. What is the plan God? Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to do? And yet do I sit and listen to the answer he is actually giving me? or do I expect a certain answer and look for that and close my ears to all else? I feel like God is telling me... Emilie, Bloom where you are planted. He is the gardener after all. He plants people for a reason. I do often feel left behind, with an eagerness to go... move, run, fly. But... time and time again He reminds me that I am where I am for a reason. This is not for everyone. Some people may hear the words "go forth"... but for me in this time and season, I am planted where I am planted. It is God orcastrated that I am working the job I am working, that I have the friends I have, that I go to the school I go to. Bloom where you are planted. Trust me. I will release you when my time clears. (if at all... I don't know). I can't keep asking God what do you want me to do?! I already know what I'm supposed to do. Pray, give thanks, preach the gospel, show love, work hard, learn about him, live in community. For me, this takes courage. Courage to trust that God has me where I'm meant to be. Courage to push past doubt. Courage to fight the desires of this culture and world. Courage to be a bible loving, Christ following believer in my work, school and relationships. "Be strong and courageous"... I am with you. Be determined, be full of purpose. Dig into me and my word.

This is my "calling". Jesus - help me to live in a way where I am radically dependent on and desperate for the power only you can provide.

In Matthew 11 Jesus says "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"... and in Matthew 7 he says "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will y our Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Here is another quote from the book I am reading Radical by David Platt... "Think about it this way. Maybe you are going through a struggle in your life. A tragedy strikes you or someone close to you, and you are hurting. So you go to God in prayer and you ask him to comfort you. Do you realize what God does? He doesn't give you comfort. Instead he gives you the Holy Spirit, who is called the Comforter. The holy spirit literally comes to dwell in you and puts the very comfort of Christ inside you as you walk through your pain."

He literally promises us all the resources of heaven waiting for the people of God who desire to make much of him in this world.

What does it really mean?

What does it really mean to do things on God's strength? Growing up in the church, you hear this a lot. Don't rely on your own strength but on God's... I'm sorry but this is so out there for me. I don't think in vague statements. I just can't wrap my head around it. And in my experience, people don't take the time to actually explain what they mean. Even though 99% of the time, people who say this to you are well intended. So what do people really mean when they say that I can actually draw on Jesus' strength?

I am realizing prayer plays a huge part. Even a simple prayer, such as, "God change my desires, change my heart". When you try to do things on your own strength, you muster up all the courage, all the love, all the ability you need to accomplish what ever it is. But that's just it... it's "mustered up", it's gathered from inside you rather than from beyond you. It's like you just pull up your own shorts and "try to love that person more who gets on your nerves", or "just be more bold when sharing the gospel with those people at work or school", or "just be better, try harder, do more." There are millions of examples that this could apply to.

But it's not about finding strength within you. It's about saying, God... I don't have the ability to love that person who annoys me. Change my heart towards them, help me want to love them, help me to actually love them. I don't have the ability to be courageous in sharing the gospel, but God be the courage in me. Change my heart to desire to take that risk. Change my deepest desires. Not just surface level courage that lasts the first 30 seconds and quickly fades once they start to debate with me. But deep longing for them to know the Christ I know. The difference is that when doing things on your own strength, you are forcing yourself to do something you actually don't want to do, or can't do. But when you draw on God's strength, he will change you from the inside out. You will start to find joy in loving that person who used to annoy you. Your fear of man will slowly shrink as you start to share the gospel. You will find the ability to do something you never thought you could ever be able to do before you prayed that prayer. You will look back at your life and realize that without God none of that would have been possible. He gets the glory. It puts all the burden on God. (You still have to pray and seek him, yes you have a role) but it's freeing knowing he will work in you and you don't have to try harder to be a "better christian". His burden is light, so cast it all on him!

The modern day gospel says, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Therefore, follow these steps, and you can be saved." Meanwhile, the biblical gospel says, "You are an enemy of God, dead in your sin, and in your present state of rebellion, you are not even able to see that you need life, much less to cause yourself to come to life. Therefore, you are radically dependent on God to do something in your life that you could never do".

Quote from Radical, by David Platt


I'm still learning about what this all means. How do I use God's strength instead of mine? In real tangible ways. If you have any suggestions or things to add. Stories or comments about what you've learned and what you've experienced. Please leave them below... or in the comment section on facebook. I'd love to learn from you and with you!

Oceans; this song is my prayer.

You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, my feet may fail.
And there I find you, in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand.

I will call upon your name.
And keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace.
For I am yours, and you are mine.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters.
Your sovereign hand will be my guide.
My feet may fail and fear surrounds me.
You've never failed and you won't start now.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,
Let me walk upon the waters, where ever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior.

Do what ever it takes. 

Parable of the Talents

14 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. 15 To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,[a] each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. 17 So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. 18 But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

22 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

24 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

28 “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. 29 For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 30 And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Matthew 25: 14-30

Do I want to be like the servant who takes what the master has given me and hides it in the ground to do nothing with it? God has given each of us specific gifts and abilities to use for his purpose. Don't hid them in fear of God's character. That's what this third servant in the story did. He said to the master, "I knew you are a hard man... and I was afraid". Afraid of what? Disappointing God? Fear of what man will think? In the message it says the servant thought the master "demanded the best and made no allowance for errors". Which really does not accurately reflect the heart of God. You won't make mistakes when you don't try. But God doesn't call us to live so cautiously. But to take risks, knowing that even if we aren't safe in the physical, we are safe in Him. Safe in our salvation. So use the talents God has given you. Glorify God with them. Because if you are faithful to God in little, you will be faithful to Him in abundance. You start off small. Start with what God has placed right in front of you, in the abilities you do have. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have... now. 

Anxiety.

I feel very anxious today. Like there's something I should be doing, or I'm missing something. Why? I have gone over my to do list over and over. I'm not behind in school, I'm not forgetting anything important. Every physical thing is in order. Why do I feel this way then? I don't know. I hate feeling this way when I don't know why. It's like unease, like I'm anticipating something. It's a terrible feeling. It's in my head and in my heart. It hurts physically and mentally. What do I do...


Philippians 4:6-8
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

Matthew 6:31-34
"Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?' "For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:27
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."

God - help me.

Still a sheep.

When I sin, I act like I don't belong to God. After I sin, I still act like I don't belong to God. I think to myself that because I sinned, I am no longer God's, but to belong to God, one must be perfect and righteous. Sometimes I am the farthest thing from righteous. How can I ever belong to God if I am constantly messing up. How can anyone? For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God. Even those in the bible days, did not deserve God. But God still chose to call them righteous. Noah, David, his disciples. Where they perfect? Probably not. What makes someone righteous then? Is it acting in a certain way? Is it being in the right place at the right time? Is it striving against sin and repenting when it happens? Maybe that has a part to play. But, I believe it's grace. Grace makes a person righteous in the eyes of God. It's God's grace that teaches us, molds us, grows us to be righteous. The definition of the word is to act in accordance with a divine or moral law, free from guilt and sin. Can anyone fit this bill? Only through sanctification and justification through the holy spirit. It's grace that lets us belong to him. It's grace that has opened our eyes to our sin. It's God and his grace that gives us the strength to fight against it. It's God and his grace that gives us the heart to repent.

Emilie - Just because you sin, doesn't mean you are no longer his sheep. When his sheep go off the path, he will find you. He will bring you back to where you are supposed to be. He doesn't abandon his sheep because they made a mistake. Your mistakes do not define you. Stop running away from the Shepard because you think you're a wolf. You're not a sheep in wolf's clothing - that's not how the story goes. It's the wolf that dresses up in the sheep's clothes to deceive. You are lost and you need your Shepard, he's the only one who can direct you back to the flock and away from the real wolves. Start acting and repenting like a sheep. Sin will damage your relationship with the Shepard, yes. But... it cannot separate you from his love, it cannot change the fact that you are his daughter - his sheep. 

“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. 2 But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. 5 A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6 This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them. 7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

John 10

Counter-culture

"We're going to take back, all the enemy has stolen. It's in the blood of the one who's worthy. I know God has not forgotten all that's lost and broken. So come and see the turning of the tides, come and see the sons and daughters rise. How could he who did not spare his own son, not freely give us victory against the darkest of nights." -Will Reagan and the United Pursuit Band

Short and sweet: Lately I've been feeling anxious about the future. How will God's plan will work out? What am I supposed to do? I talked to my best friend today and God spoke to me through her. Just trust him. Live sold out, every day surrender to him. Live in the now for God. Don't wait until later, and don't settle. Don't become complacent. Be used by God now where you are.

I think God has placed a discomfort in my heart about this Canadian and North American culture for a reason. I tend to lean towards missions. I've always said I wanted to move out of Canada and do missions. But what if God just wants me to be so dissatisfied with our culture here, that I don't conform. Not necessarily to take the easy way out and move away, but live here and be counter-cultural. That I am counter-cultural in everything I do. The way I live for Christ, the way I speak, how I spend my money, how I treat people, how I serve... everything. Maybe I'm not meant to do missions overseas, but channel this uncomfortable feeling I get towards changing the culture here in Canada. How do you change a culture? You change the people. How do you change the people? You show them Christ. Be Christ to them. Love on them like Christ would. Only He can change the culture and the people of Canada. Maybe that's the reason I feel the way I do. Never thought of it that way before. It gives me peace.

God, change my desires.