"Joy will not be rugged and durable and deep through suffering where there is not resolve to fight for it."

-j. Piper

I'm so depressed. I'm so anxious. I fear the gun my husband hunts with sitting in the basement, the rafters in my garage that could easily hang a rope, the pills in my medicine cabinet, knives in kitchen drawers. I can't stop these thoughts from coming in at least once a day. They scare me and I want them to stop. I never want to get to the dark place where these passing thoughts stay longer than a moment. Dear god.