It's been a long time;

It's been a long time since I have blogged. It seems that life is just flying by as I look out the window. It goes so fast. I have many thoughts on my mind. Some, are just jumbled up and don't make sense. Some are clear. Some are in between.

First of all: Prayer. Its been a theme lately. Prayer. What is prayer. How ought we pray? What does prayer do?
It's hard for me to believe that prayer can change things. That prayer can actually change the course of life for which God has ultimate control. But by the blood of the lamb and the power of testimony, I have faith. I have faith that prayer will change things. Prayer is the pivoting point that I have been looking and searching for.

I have seen God come through on people's prayers in the past few weeks. A lady in our church in the hospital - Doctors say she won't make it through the night, that she is going to die. A wife, a mother at the end of her life. But prayer. A few phone calls later, prayer is called for. Our church came together to pray for her. Within an hour, doctors say "something's happened, something's changed, we can't explain, we don't know what it is". She's completely fine. Prayer. A mother in our church looking for a careworker for her wheelchaired teen, praying that God would send someone who they desperatly need. That afternoon, exactly who they were looking for, applies for the job. A christian nurse who is in need of employment. Prayer. In young adults group we enter in prayer for our friends who don't know You. That week, opporunities arise. They start asking questions. Searching for You. Prayer. I'm seeing friendships being mended. I'm seeing people getting healed. I'm seeing children getting baptized. I'm seeing hearts coming to You. It's prayer's being answered.

I find prayer hard. I'm not good with words. I'm not good at speaking out loud. I studder. I pause. I get distracted in my head when I try. I am also so busy and consumed with life that I forget about prayer. But I can write.

God - these ramblings are my prayers. Please hear them. Please respond to them.
Teach me how to pray properly. Teach me the power in the words.
I pray for my walk. God, give me faith. Be the strength inside of me. I am weak, but you are strong in me. Give me a joy that jumps over sadness. Help me to trust in you - that I may not be anxious and worried. Help take away the darkness in my heart. God I pray that I would find adventure in living for you.
I pray for people around me. I pray that you would move. I pray that you would provide opportunity for your people to be  examples of your love. We can love because you first loved us. Teach us. Mold us. Heal us. Use us.
Thank you for the sacrifice you gave on the cross. Thank you that we are free.
Thank you for making music. Thank you for my friends and my church. I am blessed beyond compare. Help me to see the big picture. That there is more to life than clothes, beauty and boys... You know.
Help me to be counter-culture.
Heal my mom. Change my brother's heart. Encourage my father.
I pray that you would be in control of my finances. That I would have enough money to go to the Philippines this May. I pray that you would already be preparing my heart and the folks who are coming and who will be there. Be over this trip. Be the banner that protects. Your kingdom come, on earth as it is where you are.
I pray for my future husband. I pray that you are preparing me for him, and him for me. You know my heart better than I do father. I trust you.
Keep my focus on you always.
Jesus, Abba, Jehovah Nissi. I love you.