A letter from God to you.

Sweetheart,

I love you beyond compare. My love for you reaches high and wide. As far as you could run to the east. As far as you could walk to the west. As far as you could dig down into the earth. As far as you could climb up the highest mountain. It's nothing compared to how big my love for you is. I delight in you. I know everything about you. I know the number of hairs on your head. I know the number of freckles on your body. I know the story behind each scar. I know your heart cries. I know you. Better than anyone else under the stars. I see you when you think you are alone. I am with you when you feel desperate. I am with you when you feel forgotten. No matter what you do, you cannot disappoint me. I am so proud of you. Yes, you. Your name is written on the palm of my hand. Even if you were the only human on earth, I still would have died for you. I bled so you don't have to. You don't have to bleed, my baby girl. You don't have to do that anymore. You don't have to hurt yourself anymore. I take that hurt away. Come to me. Come to me. Take my hand. Gather close. Listen to my heart beat. It's beating for you. My sweet child. Don't you understand? Don't you see? That I created you just the way you are. Please don't try to change what I made so lovely about you. You are lovely. Just follow me. Just follow me. Follow my voice. Run into my sweet, warm presence. My heart breaks when your heart breaks. I hate to see you cry, darling girl. Let me change you. Let me envelop you. Let me invade every crack in your heart. I can make you whole. You don't have to worry about a thing. Don't be anxious about today or tomorrow. Just trust me. I'm a pretty big God. I hold the whole world in my hands. I will hold you in my hands. Just let me in. I tell the waves in the sea where to crash. I tell the seasons to change. I comand the sun to rise each day. Yet in all my creation, I created one thing that surpasses all beauty. That's you. Do you know why? Because I made you in my image. You are beautifully and wonderfully made... I would know. I care so deeply about you. You are my beloved child. Please don't forget me. Please remember, you have purpose. You were created with purpose. Don't let anyone take that away. I have a plan for you. I have a plan for your life. Will you come with me? Will you let me in? Just look at me and everything else will work its self out. Just look into my eyes. Search for my face. I'm smiling at you today.

Love,

Your Father.

It's been a long time;

It's been a long time since I have blogged. It seems that life is just flying by as I look out the window. It goes so fast. I have many thoughts on my mind. Some, are just jumbled up and don't make sense. Some are clear. Some are in between.

First of all: Prayer. Its been a theme lately. Prayer. What is prayer. How ought we pray? What does prayer do?
It's hard for me to believe that prayer can change things. That prayer can actually change the course of life for which God has ultimate control. But by the blood of the lamb and the power of testimony, I have faith. I have faith that prayer will change things. Prayer is the pivoting point that I have been looking and searching for.

I have seen God come through on people's prayers in the past few weeks. A lady in our church in the hospital - Doctors say she won't make it through the night, that she is going to die. A wife, a mother at the end of her life. But prayer. A few phone calls later, prayer is called for. Our church came together to pray for her. Within an hour, doctors say "something's happened, something's changed, we can't explain, we don't know what it is". She's completely fine. Prayer. A mother in our church looking for a careworker for her wheelchaired teen, praying that God would send someone who they desperatly need. That afternoon, exactly who they were looking for, applies for the job. A christian nurse who is in need of employment. Prayer. In young adults group we enter in prayer for our friends who don't know You. That week, opporunities arise. They start asking questions. Searching for You. Prayer. I'm seeing friendships being mended. I'm seeing people getting healed. I'm seeing children getting baptized. I'm seeing hearts coming to You. It's prayer's being answered.

I find prayer hard. I'm not good with words. I'm not good at speaking out loud. I studder. I pause. I get distracted in my head when I try. I am also so busy and consumed with life that I forget about prayer. But I can write.

God - these ramblings are my prayers. Please hear them. Please respond to them.
Teach me how to pray properly. Teach me the power in the words.
I pray for my walk. God, give me faith. Be the strength inside of me. I am weak, but you are strong in me. Give me a joy that jumps over sadness. Help me to trust in you - that I may not be anxious and worried. Help take away the darkness in my heart. God I pray that I would find adventure in living for you.
I pray for people around me. I pray that you would move. I pray that you would provide opportunity for your people to be  examples of your love. We can love because you first loved us. Teach us. Mold us. Heal us. Use us.
Thank you for the sacrifice you gave on the cross. Thank you that we are free.
Thank you for making music. Thank you for my friends and my church. I am blessed beyond compare. Help me to see the big picture. That there is more to life than clothes, beauty and boys... You know.
Help me to be counter-culture.
Heal my mom. Change my brother's heart. Encourage my father.
I pray that you would be in control of my finances. That I would have enough money to go to the Philippines this May. I pray that you would already be preparing my heart and the folks who are coming and who will be there. Be over this trip. Be the banner that protects. Your kingdom come, on earth as it is where you are.
I pray for my future husband. I pray that you are preparing me for him, and him for me. You know my heart better than I do father. I trust you.
Keep my focus on you always.
Jesus, Abba, Jehovah Nissi. I love you.